It Was Like This
by Soupy George
Summary: 'It was like this,' Sirius told his refection in the toilet mirror sternly, as the floor rattled beneath his feet. He just needed to nut up and tell Remus, because if he didn't, Sirius might go insane and die. Or, less dramatically, and more likely, mope about his flat eating chips and scowling for the foreseeable future.
1. Chapter 1

_For my friend, constant cheerleader and talented writer IWLTxo. Happy Birthday! _

_I know it's not your birthday in your time, or mine anymore, but it's still the 19th according to FFnet, (for once the time difference is useful). I hope you like this, xx_

* * *

'_It was like this,_' Sirius told his refection in the toilet mirror sternly, as the floor rattled beneath his feet. He just needed to nut up and tell Remus, because if he didn't, Sirius might go insane and _die_. Or, less dramatically, and more likely, mope about his flat eating chips and scowling for the foreseeable future.

If Sirius had pictured his final train journey from Hogwarts it would have been filled with farewell japery and laughter. Surrounded by his three best friends, and all the clamouring hangers-on, as well as Lily, (the Ginger Controller) who Sirius had to admit had grown on him in the last few months. This could be related to her constant presence at James's side wearing him down, or the fact that she had suddenly stopped bothering trying to get Sirius to behave, declaring him a lost cause. Of which he most certainly was, and proud.

But instead of games and jokes, teasing Pete and snickering with Remus while Lily bossed an ever-so-slightly hen-pecked James around, Sirius was alone, in the loo. Not because he was toileting, but because he was planning a clever and cunning ambush. Well, actually, maybe just _an_ ambush.

Pete was off chatting up the pudgy sweet-trolley girl, trying to get some free liquorice wands … or get his wand licked… Sirius hadn't really been listening. James and Remus were at some responsible-people's farewell meeting with the other prefects. But that would be over pretty soon and Sirius had a niggling need to talk to Remus alone.

He was hesitant about addressing the constant little nudge in his head that said Remus was quite fanciable. Not because it meant Sirius liked blokes, although that too had been somewhat of a surprise, but because he was Remus. And telling your mate that you thought he was a bit sexy, was normally quite a good way to ruin a friendship, or, get punched.

So, for the last eight months Sirius had been pushing his little crush aside, and until recently, shagging any girl that would let him. Because it was fun and he was eighteen, and not at all because he was in denial and completely arse-over-tit for one of his best friends. He just refused to ruin his last year of school by telling Remus how he felt and being shot down, and then having to sleep in the next bed from him every night. Not to mention James and Pete wouldn't be pleased to have their friends' out-of-sorts.

But now, school was done, they were grown-ups, or nearly. Sirius would be turning nineteen in November, and they had grown-up lives to live. Sirius, James and Peter would be attending their first full Order meeting the following night, it was both exciting and terrifying that war had arrived on their doorstep. Remus, though inducted into the Order like the rest of them wasn't going to the meeting, he was going to begin a special task for Dumbledore the very next day. A special task that only Remus was suited to, he was going to spy on the werewolves.

The likelihood of mortal combat with nasty bigoted bastards was the push that Sirius needed to wrangle his courage and say something to Remus.

The endless propaganda in the _Daily Prophet_ with its death count and horrific tales of torture and suffering, had Sirius concerned that something horrible would happen and he'd be left regretting not having had the balls to tell him.

It wasn't a complete suicide mission, just a high risk one. Sirius had a suspicion that his feelings weren't entirely one-sided. Even he wasn't mad enough to be hiding in the pokey lavatory to spring an ambush on a probably jumpy werewolf just to prove a point.

But Remus, ever the master of understated affection, was very difficult to read. But he never questioned when Sirius sat a bit to close, or held eye contact for a few seconds longer than was necessary. In fact, he didn't even comment when he caught Sirius quite blatantly ogling him the previous Tuesday morning. Remus had been dashing about the dormitory in only a towel-skirt because he was late for his final N.E.W.T. exam. Something that was very unusual because Remus was normally quite modest and changed in the bathroom and also, he was never late to anything, let alone an _exam._

Sirius had been pleasantly surprised to discover that under the uniform of button down and cardigan Remus was quite built. Sirius found it strange that he had never noticed before, considering he saw Moony practically, or entirely nude after his transformation each month. But when he thought back to those mornings – through his black and white Padfoot-vision – all he ever remembered was cringing, battered Remus, hauling the blanket over him and shutting his eyes weakly to wait for the matron and her pain potions to arrive. Healthy, upright and exam-panicky Remus, hurrying around their sleeping quarters bare-chested and speckled with water from the shower was another story all together.

There was a sudden upswing in volume out in the corridor of the car, interrupting Sirius's preoccupation.

"Kissed her square on the cheek!" Sirius heard James's voice saying, "She was still shouting _Detention!_ as we were climbing into the carriages."

Riotous laughter followed this pronouncement and Sirius grinned to himself. The pink-faced Professor McGonagall trying to put him in detention for giving her a gentlemanly farewell, was something he would remember fondly for quite a while.

She'd been so flustered she'd forgotten that as a leaving seventh year he wouldn't be available to serve detention the following term. He wondered if Professor McGonagall had been feeling a bit nostalgic... it was also highly likely that "Detention" was just the default word that came out of her mouth whenever she saw him, after seven years of it being a requirement.

The laughter was still quite loud as Sirius slid the loo door open a crack and peered out, he was almost too late, amongst the passing students was Remus. Luckily he was on the nearest side of the corridor.

Sirius rolled the door wide enough to slip through and reached out to grab Remus's elbow. Dragging him back from the crowd who were now mostly distracted by James, who was doing a frighteningly accurate impression of McGonagall's flustered dressing-down.

"Hey! What the –" Remus yelped, stumbling as Sirius yanked at his arm, but then in a bout of overzealous good measure Sirius slapped his hand over Remus's mouth and pulled him into the toilet. He felt a painful pinching across his palm as he closed the door behind them, and jerked the appendage away from Remus.

"Ow! You bit me!" he exclaimed, almost disbelieving.

"You put your hand over my mouth," Remus said, eyeing him with indignant bewilderment, "what did you expect me to do?" He looked around, and the confused expression intensified. "Pads, um, we're in the loo."

"I know." Sirius said, inspecting his hand for punctures. There were none, but there was a little pink line running vertically up his palm, "I didn't want Prongs to know I was talking to you." He said looking at Remus guiltily.

Remus's forehead furrowed, "I think James may know we talk to each other," he said slowly, a lock of thick, floppy brown hair fell into his face as he tilted his head in consternation. The sun-bleached ends from the previous summer obscured one eye, Sirius wanted to brush it away but Remus shook his head and disarranged it, before he asked seriously, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Sirius said edgily. His hands were fidgeting and he shoved them in his pockets to hide them. "No look, I wanted to talk to you about something without James knowing."

"Right," Remus said, still wary, "what?"

Sirius opened his mouth but nothing came out, he shut it again, and looked down at his boots for inspiration. Now that Remus was actually here in the tiny space, practically having to perch on the narrow sink behind him, Sirius was at a loss.

But the morbid reminder that this was possibly his last chance, and that some things were more important than feeling a bit self-conscious pushed him on. He met Remus's worried eyes and tried again, "You've got your thing for Dumbledore tomorrow," he started.

"I do," Remus agreed cautiously, "and you lot are going to the meeting at headquarters." He said as though he thought Sirius was feeling left out.

"Yeah, but, I mean," Sirius stumbled over the words, annoyed at himself, "I'm not – er, _we're _not going to see you for a while are we?" he asked, the unsaid, '_Because you might get eaten by other wolves or Avada Kedavera'd by Death Eaters,' _was left hanging in the air between them.

"Probably not," Remus said, quietly pessimistic, "The wolves will be able to tell I've been living a good life as it is, they're not going to want to trust me, so running off to have a pint with you lot won't help."

"Exactly," Sirius said, "and even though I'm a spectacular dueller, and extremely good at getting out of trouble," Remus raised an eyebrow, amused despite the depressing topic. Sirius's nerves made him sound flighty and urgent as he continued, "We are, you know, _at war_, and anything could happen and I wanted to –"

There was a sudden thudding on the door at Sirius's back and someone said peevishly, "Are you nearly done in there?"

"No, bugger off!" Sirius called back, frustrated at the interruption.

"Pads," Remus said, before he could start rambling again, "are you having second thoughts? About the Order?"

"No, I just, I feel like I have to tell you just in case," he grimaced at the unavoidably dramatic sentence as he finished, "just in case, we don't ever see each other again."

But Remus's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Tell me what? What have you done?"

"No, it's not bad," Sirius said hastily, "well, I don't think so… remember that conversation we had about my, er, _turnover_ of lady friends?"

"You mean when l called you a whore?" Remus asked, quite obviously surprised at the sudden tangent in conversation.

"Yes, that one." Sirius said. Even though what Remus had actually said was '_If you're going to behave like a whore could you at least start charging, so the rest of us may benefit from it too?'_ But the sentiment was the same. It had made Sirius realise that if he ever wanted to have a go at anything at all with Remus, shagging girls in the same room as him probably wasn't the best bet. "Well you might have noticed that I've been a paragon of virtue since then," Sirius drew a quick breath and before he lost his nerve he said, "and it's because of you. "

There was a horrible hopeful swooping in Sirius's belly as Remus smiled, but then he laughed quietly and said, "I'm glad that I finally got through to you, some of those girls…" he wrinkled his nose, "I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than their …" he shuddered instead of finishing and gave Sirius a weird tremulous smile. "Why didn't you want Prongs to know that?" Remus looked away quickly and started to manoeuvre his way passed Sirius as if he was leaving. "He was giving you shit this morning about your dry-spell, I think he's noticed you've turned over a new leaf."

Sirius panicked, he thought he'd been clear, "No, Rem, wait," he snagged Remus's wrist. "I mean it's because I don't want them anymore, I –" he gulped, and forced the last three words out, "I want you." It sounded blunt and demanding and fairly ridiculous but he'd said it now, he couldn't take it back.

Sirius didn't know what sort of reaction he had expected, but anything would surely be better than the dumbfounded vacantness he was presented with.

Eventually Remus blinked, then he looked down at Sirius's hand still circling his wrist. He frowned at it like it was a mildly interesting curio, "You're gay?" he asked, sounding bemused, but making no move to dislodge Sirius's grip.

Well_,_ Sirius thought, at least it wasn't, _'Get your hands off me you dirty queer,'_ but he supposed Remus would be too polite to say that, even if he did think it. Then he realised that Remus was looking at him again, the blank expression he wore gave no hint to his true feelings, and Sirius found himself staring at his lips. Lips he was sure were remarkably more noticeable than they had been five minutes ago. He cleared his throat nervously and said, "More like not as straight as I led people to believe?"

"Oh," Remus said, and he twisted his wrist to loosen Sirius's hand. Sirius was sure he was trying to yank it free. But then, as he pulled it away Sirius felt Remus's fingers twitch against his palm and, after a pause, they bravely laced through Sirius's. They were warm and slightly clammy, but there was nothing hesitant about it.

Sirius was still trying to figure out if it was an affirmation of reciprocal feelings or a consoling, _I'll still be your friend _thing, when Remus tugged on his arm so that Sirius staggered forward half a step. Remus's free hand was suddenly tight on his shoulder and there were soft, but surprisingly sure lips against his own.

It was so unexpected that Sirius couldn't quite process what was happening, returned feelings or not, Remus J Lupin just didn't go snogging blokes in the loo! Sirius's reaction was so delayed that Remus pulled back.

"You, tosser." he said, frowning heavily and jabbing at Sirius's shoulder in punctuation. His cheeks were coloured, and he was looking everywhere but Sirius's face as he fumbled for the door handle.

Finally Sirius's brain sorted itself out. He'd been right, Remus fancied him too, or at least thought he was worth a kiss, which was mad on so many levels.

"Sorry," Sirius managed, and he reached out to hold the door shut, "you surprised me." he said. Then he leaned in closer again, intent on fixing the situation. But Remus turned his face away, looking at their reflections in Sirius's pep-talk mirror, a wry little smile on his lips.

Remus's smile turned brittle in the refection – the smile of someone who was used to hiding their feelings. It made Sirius ache as he met Remus's eyes in the mirror.

It was odd to see the pair of them framed in the slightly bowed glass, standing so close, Remus's hand still held tight in his. It made it seem more real, and Sirius had to admit, more daunting. He wondered if others would be able to tell, their clasped hands were the only give-away, otherwise they just looked like two normal boys. There was barely an inch between their heights, but that was where the similarities ended. Sirius had darker hair but paler skin, and there was a shadow of stubble on his jaw but he still looked younger than Remus.

It wasn't that Remus's face was aged, but there was always something lingering about his eyes that made him look more than his eighteen years. Sirius couldn't help but notice the other contrasts between them, him in his brand new Hobgoblins t-shirt that the counter girl in _Gladrags_ had told him was "distressed," which was highly fashionable apparently – Sirius wondered if they were just trying to save money by recycling their worn-out clothes.

Remus was as contrary as it was possible to be to Sirius's overpriced brand-new tatty t-shirt. His cardigan spoke of impeccable tidiness, even though it had been darned at least twice that Sirius could see. The collared shirt he wore beneath it was pressed and neatly buttoned. It made Sirius want to rumple him.

"You are the most obtuse person on the planet." Remus muttered.

"I am?"

Remus nodded, "Yes. Did you really think I didn't have any idea?" he asked, "It's not normal for mates to fall asleep in each other's beds, or stare at each other in the shower, or–"

"But, you never said!" Sirius interrupted, realising that Remus never showered in front of anyone, so he must have meant that he was the one doing the staring. _Interesting_.

"Neither did you." Remus pointed out, "For the same reason I didn't I'm guessing?"

Sirius met his questioning gaze and said honestly, "In case I was wrong, I didn't want to fuck everything thing up, James and Pete…"

Remus nodded again and smiled a little sadly. "It's not like anything can happen anyway. So it's for the best, it would have just made everything weird."

"I know it's not the done thing, blokes and blokes," Sirius said quickly, not liking the direction this was heading, "but I'm sure James and Lily, Peter, they wouldn't care. It's not like it's anything–"

"No Pads," Remus said gently, "I mean I'm going to live with werewolves, it's the most helpful thing I can do, just like yours is helping bring down Death Eaters. Us being, what … _boyfriends_? That's not going to work." Sirius opened his mouth to disagree, but Remus squeezed his hand and he stayed quiet, "I might not see you til next summer, or longer even, I have no idea what it's going to be like." He looked hunched and a little frightened, and it hit Sirius that he probably hadn't talked to anyone except Dumbledore about what was in store for him with the wolves. Sirius wasn't even supposed to know.

"Moony," Sirius said, trying to sound reassuring, "you'll be fine, they've been living off scraps and sleeping rough for a long time, you might be a bit more polite," he pinched the thin wool of Remus's cardigan between his finger and thumb, "and own more cardi's, but if it comes to a fight, you'll have them," he squeezed Remus's arm, "you've gotten quite buff you know."

A reluctant grin pulled at the edge of Remus's mouth, "You're so daft." He pulled Sirius in for another kiss, which was wonderful and only slightly frightening. Firm warm lips and soft darting tongue had Sirius completely lost in the confined space. Remus was enthusiastic and surprisingly handsy. Sirius, who'd had only the vaguest plan of telling Remus how he felt in private, so that the others wouldn't know if it all went tits-up, was suddenly wondering if he dared explore the intriguing bulge that he could feel pressing into his leg as he pushed Remus against the wall, and deepened the kiss.

Before Sirius could get any further with such tantalising thoughts, there was a banging on the toilet door. Remus jolted and pushed Sirius back, but their hands stayed linked, and Sirius couldn't drag his eyes from the sight of a heavily breathing, slightly smirking Remus.

"Padfoot?" asked James's voice.

Sirius startled, _Bloody Prongs_.

Sirius looked at Remus, hoping he would know what to do, he seemed to read Sirius's mind because he shook his head and said in a whisper, "you dragged me in here, what's the plan?"

"Wing it?" Sirius shrugged, his heart was pounding in his chest, he didn't particularly want to come out on the sodding train surrounded by their school mates, but he was stuck, "What?" he called back.

"It is you! Damn it," James cursed.

"Ha!" Said a voice Sirius didn't recognise, "Told you Potter, pay up."

"Carmichael reckons you're shagging in there," James said, evidently wanting Sirius to deny it.

"Well I was until you lot interrupted," Sirius said, deciding that his reputation as ladies' man – _whore_ – was finally worth something. "Rude that, isn't it Moony?" he continued conversationally.

Remus closed his eyes and gave an exasperated little laugh, but he played along, "Yes Padfoot." He said gravely, "The height of social misconduct, interrupting two gents shagging in the lav."

There was a sudden burst of laughter from the other side of the door, and Sirius realised the wager between James and Carmichael was not a private one.

"Five galleons thanks Carmichael," chortled James, then slightly louder he said, "Hurry up you two, whatever scheming is going on needs to involve me."

Remus winced at Sirius, "Absolutely not," he said, and Sirius shook with silent laughter, then Remus's mouth was next to his ear and he felt the laughter drain away as Remus said, "I'm glad you told me, even if nothing can happen. It's good to know there's … someone." he broke off and hugged Sirius roughly, then dropped his hand to open the door.

There was whistling and hooting as Remus stepped out into the corridor, and Sirius heard him saying in a stage whisper to James, "I had to find out what all the fuss was about – the girls that have been through our dormitory in the last couple of years!"

James was laughing hysterically at what was obliviously a carefully crafted mischief cover-up. "Did he live up to expectations?"

Remus looked over his shoulder at Sirius, who was now receiving congratulatory pats on the back for another excellently executed marauder gag.

"Ruined me for all others." Remus said, to gales of hysterical laughter. But when he met Sirius's eyes the brittle little smile was back.

* * *

_To be continued, if there's interest xx  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** It turns out there was interest, thanks so much! _

_IWLTxo, I hope you like this xx_

* * *

The task of removing the forlorn, slightly musty and oddly incense-y spectre from his flat was a home-for-the-holidays routine that always reminded Sirius of his Uncle Alphard; the flat's previous owner. Because it had been shut up for months following Alphard's death, while the other non-disowned Black's fought over his estate, the job of opening windows and chasing away spiders always took Sirius back to the first time he'd had to do it. It had been a year ago that the property had finally been cleared to pass into Sirius's possession.

But this, the third time Sirius had arrived home, after being at Hogwarts for a term seemed more empty than the others. Not only was he reminded of his dead uncle, who had been the last remaining Black on speaking terms with the disinherited Sirius, but now the stuffy rooms and cobwebbed ceilings made him think of how very alone he was.

Sirius forced the final window open, the sliding wooden framed sash in his bedroom. From here he had the enviable second floor view of a car park for the surrounding buildings and three rarely emptied skips.

Sirius's flat was in Camden Town, bought in a rebellious fit of pique by Alphard in 1960. The point of the purchase was to live somewhere as flagrantly Muggle as possible, and therefore achieve the biggest metaphorical middle-finger he could to his oppressive, bigoted and inbred parents.

A sentiment Sirius both admired and aspired to.

There was no way Alphard could have foreseen how very anti-establishment (and therefore anti-Black) the area would become in the nearly twenty years that had passed though. Now as the Nineteen-seventies were drawing to a close it was common place to see the footpaths filled with social outcasts of even Muggle society; heavily eyeliner'd girls – and boys – held together with safety pins and hairspray, their jeans tight and ripped and their outward expressions angry; the look that accompanied the latest sound in rock and roll.

No longer did Sirius hear melodic guitars and catchy songs about lost love as he passed the record store when he walked to the corner shop for milk and fags, but instead, it was violently crashing drums and three chords on repeat, both seemingly warring with the front man's barely discernable lyrics.

Sirius thought it was fucking brilliant.

But even the thought of his latest acquisition, the brand new, and recorded in London, _It's Alive_ – the closest thing he'd ever get to hearing the Ramones in concert – blasting from his gramophone wasn't enough to put a smile on Sirius's face this early summer evening. He flopped on his bed, and then twisted about trying to wiggle his half smoked deck of fags from his back pocket.

At this moment James would be settling Lily into her room at Potter House, separate from James's of course, because Mrs Potter simply wouldn't stand for pre-marital shenanigans. Lily was only there because her own parents were holidaying in Majorca for the summer, a holiday suggested by Lily and partially funded by the Potter's to get the Evans's away from the dangerously changing wizarding world. It was frightening, but they were safe and Lily had the extremely devoted James to protect her. Though Sirius thought she would probably poke him in the eye if she heard him say she needed protecting.

Sirius lit his cigarette still lying flat on his back. He blew the resulting stream of smoke up towards the ceiling were it caught on the remaining cobwebs, making them sway in the bluish nicotine breeze.

Peter, Sirius thought, would be sitting at the table in his widowed mother's farmhouse kitchen. There would be an old tin teapot filled with hot chocolate and a tray of biscuits in front of him. Pete would be happily stuffing his face and trying to meet his Mum's demands for tales of school – without getting himself into trouble by telling the truth.

Sirius took another drag on his smoke, balancing it carefully as not to let the ash topple on to his face, he frowned over at his nightstand, where his ashtray – a randomly ornate cut-crystal one that had been Alphard's – was sitting just out of reach. He summoned it with his wand and tapped his cigarette, wishing that he had someone to bring him hot chocolate by the teapot-full and make him biscuits. Thinking of things he wished he had, and hot chocolate, led him to thoughts of Remus, who valued hot chocolate for its medicinal purposes.

Remus would be packing. Sirius amused himself for a moment with the mental image of Remus in his childhood bedroom, with all his bits and bobs – Sirius had no idea what one packed when off to live with wolves – laid out in little piles all over his coverlet, probably ticking them off a list as he put them in his bag.

Sirius didn't know if Mr and Mrs Lupin were aware of the dangerous assignment Remus had taken on, he doubted it though. Remus much preferred to keep everyone as worry free as possible, which normally meant keeping things to himself whenever he could. This reminded Sirius of the thing they had both been keeping to themselves.

The thing that he had finally had the guts to say.

Even though now it filled Sirius with a kind of bitter regret to know that if he'd just bloody said something at Christmas, then he and Remus could have had more than one and a half kisses – in the sodding _loo_ – before he, Remus, was mauled by the pack or he, Sirius, was blown to shreds, as was the most common cause of resignation from the Order of the Phoenix these days.

Because, for all the bravado Sirius was well aware that he, James or Pete might not make it til next weekend. Remus at least would get to the coming full moon. It struck Sirius suddenly that he would have no way of knowing whether Remus had made it through the moon. Whether having to face a transformation without his usual company of rat, stag and dog would make it even more harrowing. Would having other wolves around serve the same purpose? Probably not… the Animagus friends kept him calmer, playful, the wolves… they would see strong, intelligent Remus as a massive threat to the status quo.

There was suddenly a loud rhythmic knock on the front door that jolted Sirius out of his semi-self-pitying torpor, then a voice Sirius recognised immediately called, "Padfoot?"

For some reason James was visiting.

Sirius hauled himself to his feet feeling completely confused as to why James was here in London when he was supposed to at home playing happy families with Lily.

_Perhaps it wasn't James at all, but a trick,_ Sirius's lonesome brain suggested. Half of Sirius's family were Death Eaters, and he was the Bloodtraitor that shamed them, maybe they were taking advantage of his vulnerability now that he was away from Hogwarts...

"Prongs?" Sirius asked cautiously, once he had reached the front door, he loosened his wand from his sleeve as he spoke.

"Yeah mate," James said, but then if he _was_ a polyjuiced-rellie looking for Black family revenge, he _would_ say "yeah mate".

Sirius opened the door with his left hand, wand ready in his right, it wasn't like he was afraid, just careful.

He felt a little foolish for his vigilance when James's eyes bugged behind his glasses at the sight of Sirius with his wand on him, and instead of backing away, James frowned thoughtfully and said, "You right there Pads?" in a tone that plainly suggested concern for Sirius's sanity.

"Yeah sorry, bit restless." Sirius mumbled, stepping back to let him inside, and stowing his wand since it was obviously James.

"That's why I'm here," said James, "you were bloody weird all the way back to Kings Cross – even _Pete_ noticed." James said incredulously, as he led the way into the sitting room and made himself at home on the sofa, "Moony said you're just a bit edgy with all the changes and stuff but if you ask me he was just as bad."

"I'm not edgy," Sirius said, feeling unduly annoyed that Remus and James were talking about him.

Sirius pulled out a new fag, lit it and flopped onto the other end of the sofa. He sat forward to grab the end of his trunk, which was sitting open in the middle of the room, and hauled it closer to use as a foot rest.

Sirius had only gotten as far as un-packing his record player and vinyl collection this afternoon, they were already in his bedroom, the records un-shrunk and the player re-charmed. He puffed his smoke for a moment while he tried to think of an explanation for his out of character grouch to give James. "Don't you feel a bit weird knowing that school is over forever?" he said eventually, adding vaguely, "You know I'm terrible without structure…"

"Please," James laughed, "you're worried about your lack of productivity?" He reached out and pinched Sirius cigarette, took a drag and passed it back, "try again." he said as he blew out the smoke.

"Fine," Sirius said, "lack of productivity and Moony." he meant Remus's impending co-habitation, and not – entirely – the niggling poke in his chest every time he thought of the toilets on the Hogwarts Express.

James hummed in agreement, "Fair enough," he said, "I've sort of been trying not to think about it."

_Easy for him Sirius_ thought, with Lily and family to distract James from all the nagging worries. Smoking and spider extermination were not nearly mentally taxing enough to keep Sirius occupied. "Same," Sirius said anyway, because he didn't want to raise James's suspicions. "How's Lily?" he asked, to change the subject.

"Worried, you know, bout her mum and dad," James said, putting his feet up on the trunk and sitting back, "but Majorca is safe, that's all that matters. I think her dad was more concerned that his little girl was moving in with me to be honest."

A real smile found its way onto Sirius's face, "That's only cause he hasn't met me."

James grinned, "That's true, like how Mrs Lupin didn't trust me at all until you came to stay that summer."

Sirius laughed to himself as he remembered. The summer of their fourth year he'd convinced his parents that the Potters were a perfectly respectable – _pure –_ family, despite their differing opinions from the Noble and Most Bigoted House of Black. He'd also suggested that making alliances on all sides of the political spectrum was very advantageous.

Orion, Sirius's father, apparently approved of the Slytherin spirit showing through in his rebellious Gryffindor of an heir, because he had allowed Sirius to go and stay for a few weeks at Potter House. The pair of boys had gone to visit the Lupin's home for a couple of nights during Sirius's time with the Potter's.

James had been to visit Remus the previous summer and not made the best impression, being rather more energetic, accident prone and ready to question parental wisdom than Mr and Mrs Lupin were used to. But they were yet to meet the tornado of tomfoolery that was Sirius Black.

Sirius, in insanely high mischief-making spirits due to his first ever holiday with his friends had – by accident – burnt down the upstairs bathroom while demonstrating the newest development in pyrotechnics from Dr Filibuster – wet-start fireworks. Mr Lupin had been able to put it to rights as soon as he got home from work, but the three boys had spent an afternoon cleaning and schlepping like Muggles under the critical eye of Mrs Lupin as punishment, and James was suddenly the lesser of two very evils

"It's a bit serious when you say _moving in_." Sirius said, frowning a little at James's phrasing, "isn't Lily just staying for a while?"

James shrugged, stealing Sirius's cigarette again, "Dunno," he looked a little pink as he inhaled and then flicked the ash, not meeting Sirius's eyes. "We'll see. But she and Mum are playing some mad card game and drinking sherry, and Dad's away getting the Evans's set up," he paused and smiled broadly, and somewhat maniacally, "So I decided to come down to London and escort you and your grump to the pub."

Sirius felt suddenly stupidly fond of his best friend. Not to mention dramatic for moping about his flat thinking that he was all alone, when _of course_ James had noticed that he was down on the train, and _of course_ he'd be here to cheer Sirius up when he needed him. It didn't matter that Sirius couldn't tell him the whole reason, the part that they shared – worry and fear of the future – was quite enough.

Ten minutes later Sirius had grabbed a handful of clothes from his trunk and was in his room shucking his Hobgoblins t-shirt for a plain one, as to blend in with the crowd at the pub down the street. Although, the Muggles would probably just think _The Hobgoblins_ were just some super-obscure punk band they weren't underground enough to have heard of. He traded his comfy jeans for a pair that Remus had called "ludicrously pointless" because they were so tight Sirius had trouble bending to lace his boots when he first put them on, _and_ they'd had torn and tatty knees when Sirius had bought them. But they looked just like the ones he'd seen JJ Burnel wearing the previous summer, when he and James had gone to see the Stranglers at the Roundhouse. So Sirius thought them worth the hassle.

The pub, which was only five minutes' walk away, took up the bottom corner of an old row of terraced houses, most of which were now converted into businesses. It was a little dingy and very smoky, but the interior was an improvement on the litter-strewn footpath. "Litter" being the most all-encompassing term to describe the four puddles of vomit, several smashed bottles and, disturbingly, one hypodermic needle Sirius had seen floating in the gutter, on their brief walk from his flat to the pub.

Sirius loved the little corner pub, it was filled, as usual, with a seemingly random collection of patrons. There were over-weight middle aged men in rolled up shirt-sleeves hunched on stools at the bar, girls with tall hair and multiple silver rings in their ears hovering by the jukebox, leather-vested shaved haired blokes snarling at each other over the billiards tables and a good deal of run-of-the-mill rowdy Friday-nighters, their business shirts untucked and ties loosened, clinking their pints and laughing uproariously.

James and Sirius pushed their way through the crowd to the bar and collected two pints each – since happy hour was finishing in ten minutes – and found themselves a leaner near the billiards tables. When Sirius had first moved in to Alphard's, he and James had spent many evenings in this place, it was after all, quite easy to forge an I.D. when you had a wand. It was also easy to fleece the skinheads at pool when you could use a locomotion charm to direct the balls, which they did happily for a time. Unfortunately, because of their renowned skill, no one in the bar would play against them anymore, so Sirius and James were forced to drink for entertainment instead.

* * *

Sirius climbed the stairs to his flat several hours, and pints, later. He was not stumbling drunk, but the stairs did seem to require his constant attention for him to be able to ascend. James had left him around the corner at the alley they used for discreet apparition. Sirius hoped that Lily and Mrs Potter were still in good spirits when James arrived, because James had certainly been a merry mood.

Sirius was still watching his feet on the staircase when he reached the top stair and was surprised to hear a quiet, and slightly hoarse voice from across the dim landing.

"Hello Padfoot."

Sirius wobbled unsteadily for a moment as the sudden greeting took his focus from the steps to the figure sitting on the floor next to Sirius's front door. It was Remus, a dog-eared book in his hands and a tiny hovering ball of light floating next to him to illuminate his pages.

"Moony?" Sirius said, his beer-slowed brain unable to find a reason for Remus to be _here_ when Sirius had spent the whole evening trying not to wallow in the fact that he was never going to see Remus again, because was going to be eaten by a hulking alpha-wolf in exactly thirteen days' time, "What are you doing here?"

Remus got to his feet, tucking his book into his bag, his shoulders twitched in answer to Sirius's question and he said haltingly, "I'm not really sure, I just couldn't sit at home anymore," he gave Sirius a confusing little smile and shrugged again, "I thought you might want to hang out, or something."

_Or something_ echoed around in Sirius's head. "I've been at the pub with James," he said, trying to collect himself, because the drink was suggesting very many _or something's_ in his ear, "apparently I looked very depressed on the train, and he took it upon himself to cheer me up."

"Yeah," Remus said, "he told me he'd come check on you this evening, I should have known _'check on'_ meant '_get pissed with_.'" Remus grinned to take the sting out of his words, "I finished getting ready early, turns out you don't need much stuff when you're going undercover as a homeless person," he shrugged for a third time, "so I thought I'd stop by, stop myself going insane, say good-bye…" the _or something_ didn't need to be said aloud again.

"Cup of tea then?" Sirius asked, not sure why he wasn't just jumping on Remus in the hallway, like his romantic track record would suggest as his usual reaction to such a situation. But it just didn't seem right.

The answering smile on Remus's face made him realise he'd said the right thing, but then, it was Remus, good manners, especially from Sirius always made him smile.

* * *

**^V^**

* * *

_Thanks for reading, you're h__elping to keep the Wolfstar ship alive! xx_


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius was very glad that it was only the first night of the holidays as he led Remus inside. This meant that his usually messy flat was still tidy because all his mess was confined to his school trunk. Unfortunately, this was the same school trunk he'd left in its coffee table position from James's visit, and forgot about as he crossed the dark sitting room to pull the cord that hung from the old-fashioned ceiling lamp. He barked his shin quite painfully when he collided with it mid-stride. Cursing his Muggle building and its out of date light fittings, he bent to rub at the injury.

"Have you had quite a few?" Remus asked from the doorway as the light flickered on. He was tugging off a pair of rather sturdy, and muddy, looking boots. No doubt part of his down-on-his-luck werewolf disguise.

"Nah," Sirius said, righting himself, and sending a disgruntled glare at the offending trunk, "I haven't eaten much today, I'll be good as gold after a cuppa."

* * *

Although it was Sirius's house Remus ended up making the tea, mainly because he was a finicky bastard about his tea and Sirius could never get it right when he was sober and concentrating, let alone when tipsy and distracted.

Distracted, or perhaps oddly observant, because he was noticing the most bizarre little things; Remus smelt very nice Sirius thought, as Remus breezed by him to get milk and mugs, not like aftershave, but fresh and … _Remus-y_, his partially boozy brain supplied helpfully. The sandy hair that fell into his eyes – grown for most of last term to help him blend in with the wolves – made Remus look a little messier than his normal groomed state, something that was very appealing in Sirius's opinion.

He was wearing his favourite cardi too. It was a thin dark blue one that Sirius and Peter had sewn leather elbow patches on one winter evening while James and Remus were at some sort of prefect nonsense. Well, Pete had done the actual sewing.

It had been Sirius's idea, because he and James teased Remus about being an old man trapped in an eighteen year-olds body, and everyone knew that old men had leather patches on their cardigans elbows. But Sirius didn't know how to operate something as complicated as a needle and thread so Pete had done the hard work.

James _had_ been a bit peeved that they'd procured the leather from his old Quidditch gear, but the joke was funny enough for him to deal with holey second-string shoulder-pads. What had made it even more entertaining was that Remus liked the haphazard additions, and kept wearing the cardigan, elbow patches and all.

"Tea and toast," Remus said, placing a plate of jammy toast and a cup of scientifically brewed tea in front of Sirius.

Sirius was sitting at one of two chairs that were crammed in to the small dining table that stood in one corner of his little kitchen. Remus took the other, and with his own cup and piece of toast, he sat down.

"So how was the pub?" Remus asked.

"Just the usual," Sirius said, "Except I got hit on by the scariest girl I've ever seen in my life." he added with a little laugh, "Had a ring in her nose! Like a pig – I thought she was going to deck me when I turned her down."

"Oh," said Remus non-committing, as he took a sip of tea.

"That's funny Moony," Sirius insisted, "she was terrifying and had no chance."

"No chance?" Remus asked, as he gave a weak chuckle his eyebrow crooked up in suspicion.

"Shut up," Sirius said, hating that Remus could make him feel guilty for his loose morals with only the twitch of an eyebrow and the slightest disbelieving inflection, "I told you today – I'm not doing that anymore."

"What, girls?" Remus didn't look convinced.

"Or boys," Sirius said emphatically, "no more whoring."

"While that's a good idea in principle," Remus said, and his cynical smile had become much kinder, "you still have to live."

"Well," Sirius said conspiring whisper, "there is this one bloke."

Remus rolled his eyes, "Subtle." he muttered.

"So then," Sirius said, almost sternly, ignoring Remus's slight mocking tone, "I'm on the back foot here Remus, you kissed me today, _twice_, that was a bit unexpected."

"Was it?" Remus asked sceptically, "you pulled me into the train loo, to tell me you _like_ me and kissing wasn't an outcome you'd considered?"

"Well no," Sirius admitted, "to be honest, I was pretty much suck on trying to say the bloody thing at all."

Remus smiled, "You're braver than me," he said quietly, "and still it doesn't really change anything does it? I'm going away for as long as the wolves will tolerate me, and who knows how long that will be? There will be some who fancy a different voice, a different opinion. So even if I get kicked out, there might be some that follow, so I still won't be able to come back to normal life."

"Is that what you're doing?" Sirius asked, feeling even more concerned for Remus's safety than he had while drowning his sorrows at the pub, "_You're_ offering them another choice?"

"In a way," Remus nodded, "Dumbledore is arranging food and medicine pick-ups for me, the pack tend to roam, depending on the weather, so he's going to find a way to leave them in unobtrusive places, he hopes, and it makes sense, that I'll be able to gain their trust that way," Remus looked at Sirius uncertainly, "don't bite the hand that feeds you?…."

Sirius glanced down at his plate, feeling quite unnerved by this revelation. He'd thought Remus was going to live among the wolves to gain information for the Order, not stir up a sodding _revolution_.

Remus was still talking, and Sirius wasn't sure if he actually wanted to know any more about this, but he thought that Remus probably needed someone to tell, so he didn't interrupt. "Greyback is the current leader, from what Dumbledore says he's very hard-line, thinks wolves should embrace their inner-animal, he's a real nasty character by the sound of it."

"Well, you wouldn't expect the Alpha of the only proper pack in England to be a nice guy though would you?" Sirius said, hoping for nonchalant, but sounding rather jittery to his own ears.

"No, you wouldn't," Remus said seriously. "Hopefully I can help the ones that are suffering with him. As far as we know this Greyback is the reason there have been wolf attacks on muggleborns lately, Dumbledore has information that Voldemort has promised him a wand if he meets a certain quota of savaged muggleborns each moon."

Sirius's stomach turned at the idea, "Merlin, I always think we've heard the worst Voldemort is capable of, and then boom, something even more revolting crops up."

"Yeah," Remus said, "I'm certainly not looking forward to meeting Greyback."

Sirius's queasy feeling at the thought of slain innocents morphed into downright panic. What was Remus going to do? He might be violent while in his wolf form, but twenty eight days of the month Remus was, well, _Remus_. Was he going to strategically argue Greyback to death? Or perhaps convince the pack to hold a democratic election? Remus was a dead man.

"I need the loo," Sirius said abruptly, pushing out his chair and standing up. He just needed a minute alone, Remus didn't need to know how frightened Sirius was for him, he was probably quite worried enough without adding an overprotective, half-pickled friend.

Sirius stood at the bathroom sink and splashed a handful of water over his face, he watched the little droplets trek a path down his cheeks in the mirror-fronted cabinet on the wall. He still hadn't shaved, Mrs Potter would tell him he looked slovenly, Sirius wondered briefly if he was still invited to Sunday lunch now that Lily was staying there… had _moved in_ as James had said. Perhaps he'd not shave til then, just in case he was still expected to attend, Mrs Potter liked to have something to fuss over.

"Hey Pads," Remus's voice called through the bathroom door, "are you puking?"

"No," Sirius called back, hurriedly drying his face, and thinking that if he _was_ sick, it would have been from the new and horrible fear he felt for Remus, and not anything at all to do with the beer.

He opened the door again, expecting to find Remus in the hallway but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Sirius poked his head out into the sitting room, from here he could see all the way to the kitchen, and unless Remus was hiding under the dining table he wasn't in there either. "Moony?" Sirius said to the empty room in confusion.

"In here," Remus replied, his voice came from the direction of Sirius's bedroom. Sirius turned around and went back down the short hall.

Remus was sitting cross-legged on the floor of Sirius's room, in front of the only thing Sirius had unpacked when he'd got home this afternoon, his record collection and gramophone.

"This is new," Remus said waving the yellow lettered sleeve of latest record from the Damnedin Sirius's direction as he set the needle.

"I don't know that it will be your thing…." Sirius said hesitantly.

Remus shrugged as the racing pound of drums reverberated from the horn. "Since you subjected us to that screeching Boardman calls singing for the whole of last term, I've learnt to find music in almost any noise. This," he said, smiling at the gramophone's spinning record, "is remarkably easy."

Sirius grinned, Remus looked so happy, contented even as his fingers tapped on his corduroy knee. He'd brought a new cup of tea with him Sirius noticed, it sat next to his bare toes, half underneath Sirius's bed.

Sirius sat down on the floor beside Remus, resting his back against the foot of his bed. Wishing as he did so that he wasn't wearing his fashionable but ridiculous jeans, because he couldn't bend his knees without losing circulation to his feet. He ended up with his legs poking straight out in front of him like a small child.

Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius's ungraceful decent, and Sirius said doggedly, "I _know_, they're stupid."

Remus chuckled to himself and leaned against the bed too, his leather elbow patch brushed Sirius's arm as he said, "Yeah, they are. Sexy though."

Sirius laughed in nervous surprise at the blunt flirtation. Bloody Remus, first he commandeers Sirius's brave blurting of feelings on the train by snogging him completely out of the blue, and now he was using words like _sexy_. Sirius didn't know what had gotten into him. Perhaps his impending assignment was spurring him on. Whatever it was, Sirius wasn't complaining, just pondering.

Something tickled Sirius's cheek and there was suddenly the warm weight of Remus's head on his shoulder, "We're doing the right thing … right?" Remus sighed ambiguously.

Sirius shrugged, not willing to say what he really thought, namely; _we're not doing anything_.

"Getting involved I mean," Remus continued, "sometimes I think we'd be better off just moving to France."

"Why, are they more liberal there?" Sirius asked, finding Remus's tea-free hand and hanging onto it.

Remus gave a little amused huff, "I meant to get away from the war," he said, squeezing Sirius's hand, "today on the train, I thought that's why you didn't want James to know, because you were having second thoughts too."

"Oh right," Sirius said, feeling embarrassed, "No, not about the Order, but I can understand why you might, I can't believe Dumbledore would ask you to do something so dangerous."

"Yeah well, I owe him don't I? I'd probably have already joined the pack if Dumbledore hadn't offered me a place at school." Remus said bitterly, "It's not like I can say 'thanks for risking so much for me, but I won't return the favour.'"

"_Favour_ is a bit of an understatement." Sirius muttered, not wanting to dwell on the harshness of Dumbledore's decision. The Headmaster constantly intoned that they must trust each other, otherwise Voldemort would win. He also spoke of worth-while risk, of which Remus's education was an excellent example – however, knowingly putting Remus's life in jeopardy seemed shockingly cavalier of him to Sirius.

"I know," Remus murmured, shifting against Sirius's side, huddling in closer. "I have to meet him at six in the morning."

"That early?" Sirius asked, it had been close to midnight when he'd got home, "did you want to get some sleep?"

Remus shook his head, his hair caught in Sirius's stubble. "Wouldn't be able too." he sat upright again, leaving Sirius's shoulder feeling strangely bereft.

Sirius turned to see Remus watching him, his light brown eyes fixed and confusing mix of sorrow and yearning seemed to flit across his face. Sirius did the only thing he could think of, the only thing that seemed to fit, he leaned in and kissed him.

Remus wasn't taken by surprise at all, in fact Sirius thought he might have been waiting for Sirius to do something. The moment their lips touched, Remus's hand found its way up to card through Sirius's hair and he kissed back so fervently that Sirius felt nearly overwhelmed – nearly, but mostly just turned on.

Although Sirius had been nursing his attraction to Remus for the better part of the last year, the looming obstacle of actually _telling_ Remus had stopped him from worrying about the logistics of what would happen after the fact. But now that he had overcome the first part, a whole new set of concerns had arisen.

Now, he was on his bedroom floor, in trousers that were far too tight, with Remus snogging him as though his life depended on it. The brilliant but unromantic Damned were hammering away in the background and all he could think was that Remus was his best friend, or one of them, and Sirius didn't want to risk wrecking that by charging in cock first – like he normally would. And frankly, he only had the vaguest boys-club education on the mechanics of sex with a bloke anyway, and wasn't sure what would be required of him.

"Pads?" Remus breathed very close to his ear, "I'm the one who's supposed to overthink things," Sirius pulled back to see Remus smiling a little dazedly, "will you just be yourself and go with it?"

Sirius let out a puff of laughter, "How'd you know?"

Remus shifted nearer, holding Sirius's gaze. His pupils were wide and dark, contrasting with the light brown of his iris. He was so close Sirius could see flecks of gold in the rim of colour, "I've watched you kiss enough girls to know whether or not you're into it."

"Creepy," Sirius chuckled.

Remus laughed softly too, "Yeah well, when you have a thing for your apparently straight best mate you have to take what you can get."

"For how long?" Sirius asked suddenly, realising he didn't know.

"Long enough," Remus admitted, "longer than you."

Remus didn't let Sirius reply to this revelation, he just tugged on his shirt and kissed him deeply.

Sirius wasn't going to argue with him, the important friendship reasons to progress cautiously aside, he was really bloody happy that Remus was here, and obviously dealing with his nerves in a very Sirius-fashion. What sort of a terrible friend would Sirius be if he didn't give Remus what he wanted?

This really wasn't that different than his multiple encounters with girls, Sirius thought, as he felt the familiar build of excitement deep in his belly, not so far anyway. His pulse might have been racing a little faster, and Remus certainly kissed with more assertiveness than he'd experienced before, but mouth and hands were hardly gender specific.

It was only when Remus pulled back enough for Sirius to see his face, that it would kick in all over again, it was _Remus_. Remus who he'd watched for months, Remus who was tougher and smarter than anyone Sirius knew, Remus who was currently straddling Sirius's knees, breathing heavily with his hair mussed and his lips swollen, and looking down at Sirius with an almost frighteningly greedy glint in his eyes.

The look on Remus's face faltered as Sirius grinned; it changed to a wistful little smile in return, suddenly making him look much younger as Sirius reached out a hand to cup Remus's jaw. He brushed his thumb over Remus's lower lip, and Sirius told himself he wasn't sentimental, or a _woman_, for wanting to fix this picture in his head forever.

The moment broke as easily as it came and Remus moved forward, his hands sliding beneath Sirius t-shirt pulling it up and off over Sirius's head. Sirius was trying to concentrate on Remus's buttons, but struggled to remember how to work his fingers when Remus's firm warm thigh pressed against his groin and moved in the most delicious way. He could feel the hard length of Remus's prick nudging against his hip and belly as he shifted, it sent a spike of arousal jolting through him so strongly that he thought his stupid tight jeans would tear with the pressure his cock was suddenly under.

Remus's lips were at his throat, leaving a blazing trail in their wake as he made his way south, he sucked at the join of Sirius's shoulder and neck, and paused to flick his tongue over a nipple, all the while the subtly shifting friction of one strong thigh had Sirius feeling rather ravished. He finally managed to tug Remus's shirt off, and found himself admiring Remus again. The strong regular pattern of muscle, not bulky but gloriously defined as he held his weight above Sirius. The irregular and unexpected slashes of silver scar tissue that crossed his torso were more proof of the strength and determination Remus held.

"God," Remus groaned, as Sirius's hands slid down his back to grip his arse and pull them closer together, "Sirius," he panted, "this is …" he sat back on his heels suddenly, shirtless and debauched, his flies straining, Sirius knew he was in a similar state. Remus looked at him steadily for a moment, then his eyes flitted down Sirius's body, coming to rest on the apparently iron-stitched, bulging zip of his jeans.

"Rem," Sirius said, his voice was lower and needier than he had expected. The one syllable was all Remus needed, he flicked the button open on Sirius's jeans and the zip ran down all on its own. Sirius's head dropped back and his eyes fell closed as he moaned in relief at the release in pressure. Then his breath hitched in pleasure as a slippery firm fingered hand wrapped around him.

"Mother of merlin," Sirius hissed, the slick friction was heaven, and then, something else, hot and smooth – Sirius opened his eyes to see Remus with both their cocks in hand, working them smoothly, faster and faster. Sirius reached his hand out and gripped Remus's prick for the first time, it was warm, the skin was like silk, the head wet and leaking, and he whimpered when Sirius matched the pace.

Remus was captivated by the sight of their two hands and two cocks trapped, gliding and slipping against each other, as Sirius watched him Remus's tongue darted out to wet his lips. Sirius twisted his hand, moving it more quickly, Remus drew a sharp breath in appreciation before he met Sirius eyes once more.

Then without warning Remus seemed to be overcome, he grunted, "Fuck," and fell forward to kiss Sirius fiercely, feverishly.

Their pricks were trapped between them and Sirius pulled his hand free to hold Remus to him as he rolled them over. He was hindered only slightly by the trousers around his knees. Sirius's mouth found Remus's throat as he rutted against him, the act aided by whatever it was that Remus's hand had been coated in.

Remus was moaning in Sirius's ear, his breath coming in irregular pants as the slide of Sirius's cock against his own sent him over the edge. It was all it took; the heat and pressure of their bodies, the desperate way Remus's fingers bit into Sirius's shoulder and the quiet keening plea of, "_God, yes_, _Sirius,_" that was barely heard as his climax shuddered though him, had Sirius swiftly following into a vision-blurring orgasm.

They lay on the floor with trousers only half down and come cooling sickly between their stomachs for what felt like an eternity. But Sirius's heart was still thumping rapidly, left over from the realisation that while Sirius had had a lot of fun with girls, there was definitely something missing if he could feel this bloody amazing after a quick frot on his bedroom floor. He thought perhaps that it was mainly because it was Remus, rather than the extra cock and lack of clunge. It was a bit scary, Sirius thought, to know one specific person could make you feel like that, especially one person who was about to be ravaged by ravenous wolves. He tightened his grip on Remus, burying his face in the skin at the crook of his neck.

Remus hummed contentedly, "I might be able to get some sleep after all." he said, giving Sirius's bare arse an affectionate pat.

Sirius was glad.

As they hauled themselves upright and spelled the sticky evidence away, there was a tiny little smile that never left Remus's face. They climbed into bed and as Remus drifted off Sirius felt at ease for the first time since he'd left Hogwarts. He'd listened to the sound of Remus breathing in his sleep from the next bed over for the last seven years, it was the sound of home.

* * *

When Sirius woke there was daylight streaming through his half-closed curtains, and Remus was gone.

* * *

**^V^**

* * *

_Review? _

_George xx_


End file.
